I care what other people think
But sometimes I try too hard-
No I pretend.
I want to be seen as a mature Christian
Die to self
Stiff upper lip
Impress the flock so I can earn respect and friendship
God is good.
The truth is I am broken
And wrestling with disappointment.
God has hurt my feelings
There I said it
It hurts because I love Him and He loves me but I cannot understand
Why he would do this to someone He loves-
And yet perhaps I am saddled with this BECAUSE He loves-
I am not talking the reasons for good and evil and why bad things happen blah blah blah.
This is deep, personal and relational.
Jesus weep with me, for me,
Like you did at the grave of Lazerous-
I need a friend,
Reassurance that things are not out of control
I need you in a way
I cannot know or put into words,
But you will help me find it
I am sorry I feel this way,
Though maybe I shouldn’t be-
I love you,
Help me to trust you because I am feeling betrayed
And I don’t want to feel that way.
Help me make peace,
To be still
YOU ARE GOD