Lament and Victory

Victory  over emotional frailties

And imbalances

Has come

In many ways-

And I would be greatful

Had I not spent the last 10 odd years,

Searching for a magic cure,

Or praying for complete healing.

“My strength is made perfect in weakness

My Grace is sufficient for you.”

That is the answer I am given.

My heart brakes and the illusion fades and I must accept

Discomfort, struggle, and periods of low productivity,

Without burying myself in frustration and guilt,

and condemnation.


Pride says I will be focused, productive, shiny, blessed individual.

I will look as good as everyone else

No one will see my weakness.

No one.


Vanity says

I will be understood,

And is outraged at every accusation,

Of demonic influence, lack of faith, of immature spirituality


By well meaning sheep.

Yet despite my struggle,

God sees me as a precious jewel

A royal diadem in His hand,

Washing me in white-

Fear of man brings a snare

He who trust in the Lord is saved

Do not judge as the world,

For people judge on outward appearance, (beauty, intellect, success)

God judges the heart

The hidden secret things in the soul

Even what I cannot see

About myself.

Help my Lord to surrender to your will


You will help me over come,

My physical limitations,

By Your spirit,

Granting me small victories

One day at a time,

One moment at a time,

My this hardship be a pathway

To your peace-

The kind that passes understanding














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An imperfect and broken woman, I seek to know God better believing His promise "to make all things new..." one day at a time, one moment at a time.

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